Merriment

   I shared a very merry Christmas with family in New York this past weekend, and came home to cap it off with this...

Courtesy of my engineer's aunt :)

     To quote my sister's reaction, "A 6-pack of beers, dressed as reindeer, what else does a 30something guy need!?".  Nothing.

Bunny or Brah?

   A few weeks ago, my engineer and I ventured into the mountains of New Hampshire for our first ski day.  It was an adventure he had been looking forward to for months.  I'd prepared him for the worst- that I might disappoint and be a grinch on the mountain (my parents, sister, and friends all gave him fair warning as well).
   I grew up skiing with my family, beginning at age four being towed and taught by my father.  It is not a sport I ever took a liking too. Year after year, we packed an enormous amount of puffy clothing and heavy gear into the car and traveled north.   Ski trips always fell on my birthday too, aka 'winter break' from grade school. I would cry that my toes were cold, my nose was too runny, and my friends were faster than me.  As expected with an attitude like that, I slowly gave up skiing to my mother's dismay as she loved to foreshadow that one day I would meet a skier boy and regret quitting. 
   Mother is always right.
   One of the first awkward getting-to-know-you conversations the engineer and I shared was about ski boots, and how disappointing the winter was turning out.  I think I started mentally gathering my gloves, helmet, goggles, and snow pants right then.  Realizing how much he loves it made me conjure up some happy memories on the slopes.  It had always been more about the people I was with than anything else, I had just been too young to really notice.  
    Heading in to this winter season, I knew I would enjoy myself if I relaxed and focused on who I was with more so than what we were doing.  Turns out, I do like to ski. Whodathunkit!  Despite complaining about a cold wet nose, I have happily swooshed down the mountain three days so far.  I have a great teacher to remind me of the 16 years of lessons from my Dad, and he's glad to let me take a Bailey's break when I need one.  The cherry on top... I'm a better skier than expected.  Ski culture has always enticed me, and snowy mountain towns are so fun to visit.  It's panning out to be a wonderful season.  
   Another 2013 resolution... to be a ski brah on the slopes, rather than a ski bunny in the lodge.  Although, I won't hesitate to quit one run early to beat my friends to the bar. Après–ski, everyone?

Check me out!

I'm rocking: Tecnica Fling ski boots, Patagonia snow pants, Atomic Affinity ETM skis

Gift for Techie

    In lieu of material gifts for Christmas, the engineer and I decided to 'give' each other 2+ ski trips this winter.  We said "Merry Christmas" on the slopes this past weekend (blog-post to follow) and I am happy to not have the self inflicted pressure of finding the perfect gift.  Of course, I found a flawless option this morning while perusing GQ's Gift Guides though.     

    Tada! BioLite Camp Stove.  This is the ultimate utilitarian present for my nerd meets outdoorsman.  It seems small, but for $129 it is efficient, portable, and keeps your devices charged.  Not just for camping, it's handy to have around in case of a blackout or another Hurricane Sandy!

GQ Gift Guide 2012: Gift for the Techies

Start-ups Pop-up

    One of my early resolutions for the new year is to get out and play in the city more.  There are way too many nights I spend lounging around the apartment because of chilly weather, or a suggestion to play FIFA (Commandment #5: Video Games). I want to wander around, meet interesting people, and attend fun events more.
    Boston's lack of reputation for a fashion industry tends to work in my favor;  I can sneak myself into some events just by showing interest.  It is fantastic.  Granted last year I had a legitimate reason to attend Fashion Week while I volunteered with Snapette, but the kickbacks continue.  So on Monday night, I hit up a new pop-up shop on Newbury Street for a small gathering.  I fought through my sniffles to stick to my resolution, and accepted the party invite that afternoon.
    At 115 Newbury, on the third floor, three new local start-ups have found a home to display their work until December 23rd.  (It's right above the Alex and Ani shop, where I admittedly stopped to buy myself a present.)  I encourage anyone and everyone to check out what these guys have to say on each of their sites, because I won't do them justice here.  

 Bow & Drape creates customized garments that a woman can design online from a selection of their fantastic basics.  I desperately want to design myself a Michelle Swing dress with studded shoulders.

 Project Repat creates cozy blankets out of your favorite old t-shirts. You ship, they sew.  The hippie in me loves this... hint hint.

Ministry of Supply is an innovative menswear line combining smart fabrics and sleek design.  These guys know how to keep a man looking and feeling cool, literally.  They used NASA-heat-regulation technology for their, aptly named, Apollo shirt!  Added bonus: the brand name is inspired by James Bond.

 

P.S-  These three are some wonderful examples of fashion + technology, which I began to preach about previously....and will continue too. Hey, it's kinda my life.

    Follow them all on Twitter, now:

 @BowandDrape 

@ProjectRepat

@MinistrySupply

Nerd Prom

I can't take credit for the post title, and know that I say it with all the love in my heart!  Nerd Prom, a.k.a our holiday party, was amazing last night.  Endless laughs, drinks, and great conversation. Before the night began and the dance floor was packed (with serious ballroom dancers!), I snapped this picture on my phone.  I just love how the logo appears to be swimming in the Harbor.

Happy Holiday Season!

Fashion is Smart

    "Smart" and "Fashion" may not be two words often used in the same sentence.  The Boston fashion and design industry is out to change that.

  Last night, I had the privilege of attending Boston Fashion is Smart, a panel discussion hosted at The Boston Globe headquarters.  It was co-hosted by Jay Calderin and Christopher Muther, with four female insider panelists (Valerie Fletcher, Alexandra Hall, Alicia Kennedy, and Michelle McCormack) who discussed everything from teaching fashion history, to self-promoting photographers.  It was encouraging and inspiring to be in a room of people who are trying to push Boston fashion forward, along with all other art forms.
   A big chunk of the night focused on conversations; it seemed to be the theme of the evening.   Pushing Boston forward will be made easier if people start talking and collaborating from all industries, the panel discussed. The idea of salons where insiders chat on a weekly basis, sharing ideas and brainstorming, was brought to the table.  Encouraging Bostonians to be comfortable with pushing the outfit envelope, and proving to ourselves as a city that our niche for fashion matters, was an important point as well.  Christopher Muther asked us all to stop thinking "That's too much for Boston!", when judging street style on Newbury, Boylston, and Mass Ave.
   My favorite part of the panel discussion was insider Michelle McCormack speaking about how she leverages digital media for her clients.  Her passion, experience, and advice were perfect.   "I'm not a blogger, but I keep a blog," she explained... which is exactly how I feel.  Not everyone who has a blog needs to call themselves a blogger. (But hey, if someone wants to pay me to do this one day, fantastic.)  She spoke about finding your niche and really going after it, find your people, "no bullshit".  I love that.
   While the panel brainstormed ways to create a motivated design community in Boston, McCormack suggested a mentoring program similar to tech start-up incubators.  She was recently involved with one in Kendall Square (shout out!) and thinks the fashionistas should take a cue from the techies. I couldn't agree more.  I generally live between the two worlds, and love to see them mingle.  Snapette is a fantastic shopping app (founded by Harvard grads!), Chic Geek is a great blog, Kate Spade makes the coolest gadget accessories.  The list goes on and on.

    Boston is smart. Boston has a fashion industry.  The two together make perfect sense for our scholarly city. 
  

Home

Reminiscing about how not cute the '90s were.

Fiestaware in a vintage shop (Ballston Spa, NY)

Treasures from Grandma's jewelry box.

     Going home to New York is always .... a process.  There are always too many people to see and things I want to do in a few short days.  Arriving in Manhattan makes me seriously question why I ever left, every single time.  But, coming back up to Boston and my simple little life, is a sigh of relief each time too.  I don't expect those feelings to ever change.  When I am in NY, I call Boston 'home', and when I am in Boston it is the other way around.  I'm obviously conflicted (but aren't we all??).
     Anyway, the highlight of my Thanksgiving weekend trip (on top of yummy food, playing with godson, and hugging my parents) was rummaging through my Grandma's bedroom.  She passed away in July from Alzheimer's, and my Grandpa asked me to have a look through her things.  I love vintage, especially sentimental vintage, so I was in heaven on Sunday.  My sister and I went drawer by drawer uncovering earrings, beaded necklaces, fake diamond bracelets, and colorful scarves. Her statement necklaces screamed '60s, and the stacks of bangles reminded me of the sound she made walking around the house.  Her 'arm party' was the original.
    Grandpa stood by watching us, sharing stories about his wife as we pulled things from her dresser. In Grandma's bottom drawer, we found a large green jewelry box.  In the box I found her wedding band- a thin gold loop, engraved with my grandparents' initials and the date.  "Take it," Grandpa hurried.  He could not remember exactly how he proposed, with the engagement ring that cost him only $175 in 1954.  The ring is now mine; it was gifted to me on my Sweet 16, which was totally unexpected and I had been afraid to wear it until a few months ago. 
    Now, I've stacked her diamond, wedding band, and another patterned gold band I found on my left middle finger.  I carry with me the only family heirlooms we really have, besides pictures, which I plan to keep safe until they are due to be passed down again. 
    It is these parts of 'home' that I miss while living in a different city. But, it forces me to truly treasure my time with my favorite places and, more importantly, people when I visit.  Not to mention I carry pieces of home with me everywhere, and there's no getting rid of a New York state of mind. 
   

Nostalgia

Holidays make me nostalgic.  Without fail, that yearning for home creeps up in me at Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, my birthday, Memorial Day, and Labor Day.  There are memories associated with each day that I play in my mind each year and smile.  Labor Day is the worst, because it’s the back-to-school time that I miss so much (nerd alert).  
Reflecting makes me extremely thankful for the life I have lived, the friends I have made, and the experiences I’ve had. This feeling seems to grow each year and I’m wondering if that will continue, morphing into a nostalgia for different things as I have my own family, get older, become a grandparent...  I don’t see this as a bad thing, in fact it seems like a blessing to be able to look back and sigh at the amazing things you have done.  Wrapped up in memories like a fleece blanket that just never seems to hold tight enough.

I am thankful4: 

pretty flowers

my mother's obsession with clean windows

Brant Lake, NY
the ocean 

Men vs. Women {Weekends}

Man-cave. Girl-talk. Mancation. Ladies Night.
    Sometimes, we desire a few blissful moments of single gender hangouts.  We need time for a boy to be a boy, and a girl to be a girl.  Sometimes, we turn that into a weekend getaway; it’s an excuse to throw away money and get hammered in the spirit of embodying our gender.  Cue, my weekend.
    While I spent last Saturday on a tour of vineyards in the Hamptons, the BF shot rifles and lit shit on fire in Vermont.  Recapping our stories on Sunday night to each other was like swapping articles from Cosmopolitan and Field & Stream.  We could not help but laugh at how opposite our travels had been.  Although both were similarly filled with great friends, lots of booze, and millions of much needed laughs! Throughout our relationship, our opposing interests have wound up in fun adventures and discussions.  Any reason to learn something new is exciting for us both. 

     I think it’s important to have times like these, when men and women separate to explore things they normally wouldn’t do together.  Not that the BF would refuse a wine tour, and I do plan on learning how to shoot a flaming arrow one day, but it is nice to have time apart.  Boyfriends do not want to listen to us talk about how wonderful they are, or how dumb their last birthday gift was (no matter how thoughtful).  That’s what girlfriends are for. That’s why we need Women Weekends.

Thank the universe for truly amazing friends. xx

Winning Party: Election 2012

     Before I say anything, know this: I am not a political person.  I don’t read about politics, I have little interest in foreign policy, and it is hard for me to wrap my head around our economic crisis.  I’m not proud of these things, but it’s the truth.  I’m proud to be an American and have options, and the ability to express my opinion (or non-opinion).  Today a friend told me I should run for office (HA!).   My response: “Maybe in CandyLand. I just want everyone to hug and get along, and be friendly. I want rainbows and happiness for all!”.  While I can’t make that happen globally, I can sure try in my own little life.  
Anywho, despite my lack of interest in the cold hard facts of political life, I ventured out Tuesday night to celebrate the election.  The truly American thing to do, drink!  Flanked by my best gay friend, sporting an election inspired outfit, I sipped cocktails with Boston’s finest (gays) at Towne.  

Thanks to @BostonMo for a fabulous shindig!

   Scanning the crowd, I guessed that most were Democrats, sprinkled with a few old money Bostonian Republicans.  The party invite stated “Open to all parties. Influenced by none”.  Well, the bar was definitely influenced by Obama.  His leads and state wins set the crew cheering.  I (over)heard little talk about politics, and saw more people tweeting their opinions, rather than sharing them.  My date couldn’t take his eyes off the huge projection screen.  (He would have led the pack in cheers had we actually known anyone there.)  He could not even gather himself long enough to make eyes at the cute boy he called his “dream man”. Now that is dedication to a cause.  

     The room was abuzz and I was thrilled to be apart of this little slice of Americana (last Pres Election I was studying in London).  Partying with lots of gay men, supporting them in their hopes to see a President who supports them in return.  And that was really my only stance.  The only thing I truly believe in: love is a human right. That’s it, no argument please.

    While I am as excited as a non-interested person can be that Obama won, I understand other people's’ woes.  But like Mother says, “Life ain’t fair”.  I think it’s very interesting to see how people used Facebook and Twitter the following day to express their anger or glee (or let you know they’re moving to Canada. Yeah riiight, eh.).  I ‘liked’ and ‘re-tweeted’ numerous statements, but removed some profiles from my mini-feed, and in one extreme case, un-friended a guy that posted the most ridiculously racist status ever.  

    I’ll keep dreaming about a day when everyone is content, and maybe the rain falls down as gumdrops. Until then, I’ll attend whatever soiree needed to support my friends with a Blow Pop Martini in hand (that will suffice, for now).

Sandy

Hurricane Sandy barreled through the East Coast on Monday.  It is a time that will forever be remembered; another destructive moment in New York's history.  My parents were two out of too many that are left with fallen trees, broken windows, and no power. This is a picture of our neighbor's tree which crashed into our patio late Monday night, taking out a window and power lines.  It is a minor mishap in the grand scheme of things.  Their town, like many, might be without power for another week, and people are starting to get frantic.  Speaking with friends in Manhattan and Long Island, and family in NY and CT gets my heart racing. My fears for their safety are slowly turning into a desire to be home to lend a helping hand as the slow process to recovery beings.

Trail Blazing

One of my favorite parts about dating my engineer, is learning new things (see, the 4th Commandment).  A few months ago, he found me a used mountain bike, fixed it up, and taught me how to ride again.  We frequently ride around the city; so far, I've been using mine solely as a means of transportation.  Yesterday, he finally convinced me to take the bike where it belongs, a mountain.  To be fair, The Fells is not a mountain, so I'd say we were more "trail blazing" than mountain biking. After my initial fear of falling subsided and he gave me a few pointers, I was off riding over some gnarly roots and rocks.

Trail blazing was fantastic- great exercise surrounded by a gorgeous atmosphere.  Everyone we rode by in the park smiled and said hello.  One older couple even asked if we were having fun.   After 2 hours and 8.2 miles, I had to call it quits, but the BF was very proud of me.  I feel great and have some sweet photos from our adventure.  Not too shabby for a Saturday in October.

Ghost of Halloweens Past

I am forgoing my right as an American woman to wear a skimpy outfit in celebration of Halloween this year. It’s a bundle of wasted stress and cold extremities. In fact, the only celebrating I’m doing is eating lots of chocolate.
Last night my roommate spent $63 on “Sexy Fox”.  Sixty three dollars for a 4 foot long piece of orange felt and a bundle of cotton, aka a bushy tail.  I wore my share of scanty costumes in college for various theme parties, but I find post-grad life doesn’t exactly lend itself to too many comfortably slutty situations. Halloween is the get-out-of-jail-free card of holidays.  I applaud you who go out on a brisk New England night in the name of getting wasted and making out with a 6 foot tall SpongeBob Squarepants (true story).  That, is dedication to the dead. (In case you forgot what Halloween was actually about.)
Last October, I was determined not to fall into the itty-bitty-costume trap.  I started my new job at the big-ol-internets-company on the 17th.  I was given a t-shirt with the company logo written across the chest, and my first thought was “Hooray, a Halloween costume!”.  Thrilled, I pulled out my suspenders (yes, I already owned a pair), taped up my glasses (I wear black Wayfarers), and hiked up my tube socks.  With my library card (Boston Public, what what!) securely attached on a reel to my pants, I headed to work on the 31st.
“Did you get new glasses? They look nice,”  was just about the only comment about my costume.  Apparently, dressing up as a geek doesn’t really translate when...well, when you work with real ones.
Part of me laughed at everyone who didn’t realize I was teasing them, and part of me felt bad for thinking it was funny in the first place. But, all of me was happy to be in jeans and a t-shirt instead of Sexy Princess Leia, or Naughty School Girl. (Although I’m pretty sure 100% of men enjoy those.)

Who knew 4 months later I’d be dating a geek. Maybe there’s something to that... maybe my roommate will fall in love with a fox…

Sorry, I Didn't Like "Prometheus"

I am not into aliens, spaceships, and black goo. But, dating an engineer comes at a price... the price of watching Prometheus.

To be fair, I have not seen any of the previous Alien movies, nor any Ridley Scott film. Most movies I enjoy have steamy sex scenes that end in relationships, not octopus abortions.

So why-in-the-heck did I agree to sit through 124 minutes of this?  Because the BF promised red wine and cuddling, duh! This is how it happened:
BF: “Bought Prometheus DVD on Amazon Prime. I get one instant watch, gunna hook up the laptop to the TV tonight. Awesome!”
Me: “Oh.”
BF: “You might not want to watch, it’s really scary.  But you could bring over red wine, and just fall asleep on the couch next to me if it’s too much for you.”
Me: “Okay! See you after yoga at 8:30!”

I managed to stay awake for the entire movie, despite 4 glasses of Malbec (yum).  To BF’s surprise I only screamed once, and only asked one (legit) question (“Is that blue alien from a past movie in the series??”).  While BF ooo-ed and aah-ed over the sci-fi mysteries being solved, I crinkled my forehead and debated what was really going on up there. When the movie was over, I sat back with one burning question on my mind: “Why does the alien give birth to human, human makes octopus, and octopus plus alien makes a blue horned guy?!”.  Seriously, how does that happen, Ridley?

In the end, I made the following highly scientific conclusions about Prometheus:
Pros: Charlize Theron is hot, guys wear tight leather jumpsuits, great excuse to cuddle up with the BF, it makes you think about life (a little bit).
Cons: Finding out we come from freaky aliens who hate us, snake creatures jumping into people’s mouths, I had bad dreams last night.

2.5 Stars out of 5 on the Watchability-for-my-BF Scale

P.S.- My initial aversion to this movie really started with the title... which was also the name of my college newspaper (where I wrote 2 columns)....

A True Story

The 9 Commandments

Software engineers are not Joe Bro you met at the bar last weekend. Congratulations if you’ve found one who showers daily and enjoys life outside the office (like I did!). Even your normal nerdy type has his quirks, and there are a few things you should know before inviting all your Facebook friends to visit you for a wedding weekend in Silicon Valley...

1. Learn Patience

You may have just landed the next Larry Page, but it’s going to take a lot of patience to get you down the long haul.  There’s a hell of a lot going on in that brain, so sorting out what to say sometimes requires a moment’s pause.  Also, there’s hardly any room left for new data, so assume from the get-go that he doesn’t give a shit what Kim Kardashian is wearing today, or why you need that new sweater from J.Crew. Understand, right now, that if you want him to listen to you, you’re going to have to give him good cause. And that my friend, takes patience.
The social quirks of a SWE might take some getting used to, not only by you, but your friends and family.  If your friend group doesn’t generally interact with these types, kindly explain to them they are going to need to up their patience quota as well.

2. Get Ready To Learn A New Language

Don’t know what Linux is? Neither did I until my boyfriend offered me his spare computer (yes, nerds have those) and explained to me, at length, how he reinstalled Linux.  I still can’t remotely explain anything technology based, and barely wrap my small brain around his work, but at least I try.  Listen, try to understand, ask questions.  If your man can use metaphors to compare techie things to real people things, that helps tremendously!

2.a.  ...which leads me to another point. Don’t fake it. Nerds are smart, hence, ‘nerd’.  Do not try to use techie language, or regurgitate something you read on Wikipedia.  You will say it wrong.  I added an ‘s’ to ‘code’ improperly in conversation, and I’m still not living down the mistake.

3. Prepare To Feel Stupid

Aww that’s cute, your resume says you’re a whiz on Excel? The hottie you just met at CoffeeBuzz wrote the new version of that shit program, get with it sister!  Prepare to feel incompetent, useless, and like your degree might as well be written in crayon.  Compared to the things pouring out of this man’s mouth, yours are worthless.  Okay, that’s exaggerated, but it is how you will feel.  Swallow your pride and enjoy it; find it sexy. Intelligence is the new tall-dark-and-handsome, and you just hit the jackpot.

4. Keep An Open Mind

Okay, so you’re feeling like you have nothing to bring to the table- now get over it!  You totally do, and if this nerdo doesn't think so, he’ll drop you like a PC with a virus.  The key is to keep an open mind at all times.  Try to learn about his work, maybe even take History of the Internet 101 (online @ coursera.org).  Allow yourself to let go of preconceived notions about video games, comic books, rock climbing, driving a scooter, or writing code in your mothers basement (okay, maybe not that one).  Seriously, you never know what you will become interested in once someone teaches you.  What’s the worst that could happen, you learn something?!

5. Read Up On The Latest Video Games

There is no way around it, your new brainy bf is going to play video games.  He probably has a wireless headset at home with bluetooth PS3 compatibility and plays online with his co-workers at 3 am.  (Oh, thats just my bf you say? ha!) It wouldn’t hurt for you to know what the latest trends in gaming are, and to give it a shot yourself.  I'm not a champ at controller coordination, but shooting a pack of zombies is fun once in awhile.  Especially when it excites your bf that you're into it...

6. You are Not #1

A hard pill to swallow with engineers, is that you might not come first.  Romance doesn’t exactly correlate with logic (which they are prone to favor).  And, work is very important.  Depending on his current job (or hobbies) he might work odd hours, or have terrible sleep patterns.  I tend to think most are night owls, and need to work when they're in the zone.  Do not expect attention when the zone opens up. So, in case of emergencies....

7. Get A Hobby!

Duh, everyone should have a hobby. But, it is especially necessary when dating an engineer.  They have a lot on their plate, and pile it even hirer with numerous extracurriculars.  Life will be a whole lot easier when you have a favorite past time other than listening to him explain his latest hack-job.  I paint.  We set up his office with an extra desk for my art supplies so that while he’s pounding the keys, I can still be by his side (silently doing my own thing).  We listen to the same music, and chat on breaks in his work; it’s a perfect compromise. (He’s also learned to enjoy painting and it’s a ‘skill’ I introduced to him, for once!)

8. Forget About Finding Men-In-Suits Sexy

You’ll be lucky to find an SWE in dark denim jeans, ever. They laugh in the face of “casual fridays” in the workplace.  Casual every-day-that-ends-in-y is more their speed, so be prepared to meet an epic t-shirt collection.  Trick him into a shopping trip with a visit to the comic shop first, hit up Gap and H&M, get some fresh basics, call it a day.  If he becomes even the slightest bit interested, try TruckClub.com. Or, continue to buy his wardrobe forever. Good luck.

9. Stay Confident, Keep Trying. Think About The Future.

If you’re reading this thinking “holy fuck, who's got the energy...”, pause and think about the future.  Men in fancy suits that travel for business may be hot now, but when you’re married in 20 years and he’s never home or his job is taken over by a robot, things will not be as peachy.  Dream on down the road to your brilliant kids and having all the soccer moms green with envy over your latest lavish phone/tablet/child-tracking-device. In my case (which is even better), you might be surprised at what you find inside that big SWE mind.  You might even fall in love...